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Dirty Laundry


Super Hero Alliance Patrol Ensemble 14
(Dirty Laundry)

The Dragon sighed deeply as he took the stand,
Wondering what cards were in the prosecutor’s hand.
The prosecutor swaggered and then stared deep-
Into Fu’s eyes, and nearly made him weep.

Prosecutor: “Someone tells me you’ve got a tip-
On Stan’s dirty laundry around this campus.”

Fu: “I do not know that of which you speak.
Stan is upstanding, and heroic, and unique!”

Prosecutor: “Nothing, Fu?
Not a smelly set of socks?
Not a pair of underwear?
Or grody old smock?”

Fu looked confused.
He meant laundry literally?
He grew slowly agitated,
And sort of wiggly.

Fu: “I do not see-“

Prosecutor: “Please answer quick!
What obscene little horrors
Have made you feel sick?”

Fu began to cough and splutter
As smells and disgust-ghosts
Brought his mind to the gutter.
But while the Dragon suffered PTSD,
Dana was staring at Stan flirtatiously.
She got his attention and whispered close-
Not wanting to distract anyone from their post.

Dana: “I had no clue before today,
How you had saved Hot Chick,
You risked your life
And thought super-quick.”

Stan: “Well you’re pretty impressive too,
With your 1 day Law degree.
I know that’s from the internet-
But it sure impressed me!”

If her uncle had seen this flirtatious moment-
He would likely have overreacted.
But instead he was listening to the laundry-drama,
All his senses were enacted.

The Dragon said something incredibly gross
About beard hair around the sink-
And made the whole courtroom shudder with the image
And made them want to think different thinks!

Judge: “I know that none of us are hungry now.
But it is our designated lunch time.
I wish, Dana you would have objected.
That questioning was somewhat out of line.
Well anyway, we’ll meet back here-
In an hour or so to see-
What else we have to go through,
To finish this case thoroughly.”

Judge Hemmingway brought his gavel down
And everyone departed,
But Dana was riding on high on her crush-
Feeling woozy and warmhearted.

Hi Iā€™m Joshua, and Iā€™m resurrecting Epic Poetry for modern nerds like you! Come join me at JoshuaDavidLing.com or just about anywhere on social media!

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