Craic In The World 9
(To Catch A Werewolf)
Patty grabbed a cricket bat,
From off the wall at the pub.
Jayshawn grabbed himself one too,
To use as a sort of club.
The werewolf man was almost upon her,
Zoe trembled and backed away.
Now there was no time to wait for Cumina.
They had to fight this day.
Jayshawn said a little prayer,
Then they dashed out at the beast.
Patty swung at the beast’s knees,
And took him off his feet.
Zoe screamed and turned and ran.
The beast caught Jayshawn’s bat.
He splintered it within his grip,
And roared on top of that.
Jayshawn and Patty took a step or two back,
But Patty barked in his face.
Patty: “Back down, Ted! I know you’re in there!
Get back to the safe place!”
Ted’s roar turned to a guttural growl,
And Patty pushed forward toward him.
Patty: “Ted, I am NOT letting you do this.
Do you hear me?! Are you within?!”
Ted backed up into a corner,
His werewolf form unsure.
Patty reached out to touch him,
But he swatted at her more.
Then from atop a nearby wall,
In the alley they had led him to,
They heard a song in Gaelic sung
By a voice that was solemn and blue.
Jayshawn looked up and saw Zoe,
Or Ziona as she said her name was.
She was singing to the beast below.
And he whined and raked his claws,
Against the brick of the wall that separated
Him from his pale white prey,
But Ted Hallet in werewolf form,
Would not get her this day.
An arrow from Cumina’s bow,
Flew down the alley and hit,
Ted’s backside, and penetrated deep,
And the beast began to quit.
Ted turned back into a man,
Naked in that alleyway.
Patty pulled the arrow right out.
Jayshawn: “Are you sure that that’s the way-“
Patty: “He still has healing powers going,
Up to an hour after he’s changed.
If I left that arrow in his rear,
His seat he’d need to rearrange.”
Jayshawn: “That still doesn’t really explain,
How he fell asleep like that.”
Cumina came down the alleyway,
Swaggering like a cat.
Patty: “You sure waited long enough.”
Cumina: “I had to find my bow!
It’s very seldom I get to use it now,
Come on, pick him up and let’s go!”
Jayshawn: “I don’t like this guys,
What if his sleepyness is a trick?”
Cumina: “It isn’t, numbskull, I did it.
The secret’s in my spit.”
Jayshawn: “Say what!?” Jayshawn exclaimed in shock,
“Are you telling me you’ve got venom!?”
Cumina: “It won’t kill you, but it’ll make you sleep,”
Patty: “We need to get him some denim.”
Jayshawn turned and looked up the wall,
Zoe was still standing there.
She smiled and quietly stared at them all,
Her gratitude expressed with a glare.
Jayshawn: “Why don’t you come and join us, Zo?
Maybe it’s time you had some fun.”
Patty: “Aye, I’ll treat you all to a pint.”
Zoe: “A pint? Let me show you how it’s done.”
They all laughed and Zoe climbed down the wall,
And they all went to get Ted’s clothes,
And soon enough, they ended up at The Handsome Hog,
To celebrate and drown their woes.
Hi I’m Joshua, and I’m resurrecting Epic Poetry for modern nerds like you! Come join me at JoshuaDavidLing.com or just about anywhere on social media!
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