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ITR5 – The Grand Tour

The Idiot’s Guide To Illegal Tech Repair 5
(The Grand Tour)

Amanda: “Get up you bunch of slothy bums!”
Amanda yelled without a qualm,
“It’s time to get to to work, you two!”
She yelled over the ship’s intercom.

Blayze and Pandora arose groggily,
And stepped onto the cold metal floor.
Blayze chuckled inside himself,
Seeing Pandora’s bad-hair-war.
But a few minutes later her shredlocks were tamed,
And they stepped out into the foyer.
And standing there was Dex Cramer,
Today’s liaison for their employer.
He was the one who helped Pandora
On the bridge the day before.
And he would be the one to give them
Their new home’s grand tour.

Dex: “Morning you two, how did you sleep?”

Pandora: “Not very shallow and not very deep.”

Dex: “Well at least it wasn’t bad, 
Am I right?
Let’s start your tour off today
With something you might like.”

And so Dex took them on a whirlwind tour
Of their new home, The Magnus Canis.
She was a complicated assortment of parts.
Custom built to help their chances.
Blayze was amazed by all that he saw,
And Pandora agreed as well.
The ship seemed to have infinite stories.
And stories Dex was ready to tell!
He’d pass by an object and tell them how,
This saved his life
when he was in The Manchuri Canal.
Or how that gizmo helped him escape,
Hundreds of Gryve’s forces,
and how their jaws did gape.

But then Dex came to the heart of it all.
The Engine, Model X20,
Known as The Grand Mall.
Pandora couldn’t help herself,
and hugged the amazing device.
Blayze smiled at her enthusiasm,
and Dex said,

Dex: “Wait til’ you see what’s inside.
I did a lot of work on ol’ Mally too.
She can run off any fuel in the universe.
Even off stale old wood glue!
But I only have three feeder systems,
Amanda’s kind of a cheapskate.
I keep telling her we need options for fuel!
Especially as of late.”

Pandora: “The Vampiric Feeder system saved our life yesterday.
Hopefully Amanda can see that, you can show her the way.”

Dex: “Yeah, but-“

Suddenly Dex was cut off.
The alarm system sounded,
And James was ticked off!
The one from yesterday,
Who’d lowered a rope,
And the one who’d called Amanda an “Idiot Dope.”
He yelled through the intercom
For all to hear,

James: “Gryvian ship popped out of nowhere.
It’s a 320 Sphere!
He’s got some big time munitions,
And he’s comin’ over!”

Amanda’s voice pierced the intercom.

“Operation Red Rover!”

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